Buffy's Shining Path
by Reallybored2
Summary: Halloween and Buffy gets a new toy.
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: No, **I don't own anything here!** Joss Whedon and his group own _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_, and all related materials and characters. The late Gene Roddenberry and Robert Hewitt Wolfe created _Andromeda_. Produced by Majel Roddenberry. Directed by David Winning.

_'Stargate Andromeda'_ by **mystic**, here on TtH, inspired this story.

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Here I go again! This time, there will be several chapters. But don't expect regular updates. Sorry about that, but I will try to update as quickly as I can.

Thanks for reading it!

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Halloween and Buffy gets a new toy.

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Buffy's Shining Path

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OCTOBER 29, 1997:

"I can't believe Snyder is making us do this!" Xander complained, for the umpteenth time.

Buffy rolled her eyes, but said nothing, as she led her friends into Ethan's to find their costumes. The bell over the door rang as the trio stepped inside the shop and joined the crowd already hunting the racks for their own costumes.

"Buffy, you think Snyder could be a troll in disguise?" Asked Willow. She was annoyed with the little man. Willow had plans for Halloween! She was going to-she was going to-Ah, who was she kidding? She had no plans, except to stay home.

"Seems like he could be-At least, partly troll," Buffy considered, then shook her head. "But, nah, fully Human, so no slayage." She sounded disappointed.

"Couldn't you pretend he was a real troll and slay him?" Xander begged, sharing her disappointment. Sure, all he had to go home to were a couple of drunks, but that was _his time_ the Troll was eating away-By Xander's view, he gave for the cause already! Why should he be forced to sacrifice not only hours of his sacred time, but his sacred, hard-worked-for money as well? Stupid, Troll!

"Love too! But can't," Buffy sighed regretfully. "At least the vamps and other ghastlies and ghoulies are taking the night off, according to Giles."

"Um, why?" Willow asked, curious. "I'd have thought Halloween would be prime hunting night?"

Buffy shrugged, absently, already focussing on the current hunt. "Too commercial." And, then, she gracefully slipped into the racks followed by Willow.

Xander dodged other shoppers and wandered about, poking at bins and racks. When he finally got to the weapons bin, he grabbed the last plastic military rifle in it and jerked out of reach, of the grasping hands of a younger boy.

"Sorry, kid! It's mine!" Xander grinned, triumphantly. Wriggling the toy a little, just out of the boy snatching reach.

The boy stuck out his tongue at Xander and jumped back into the racks. Xander tisked, shook his head slightly, and still grinning, walked back into the racks, looking for the girls. He had what he needed to complete his costume-And look! It only cost him two dollars! Xandman, the two-dollar costume king! Hmmm, he liked the sound of that-King . . .

Xander found the girls huddled over an eighteen-century dress. Oh, for the love of everything sacred and merciful! Xander thought in exasperation and disgust. He knew why Buffy was drooling over the thing. Only problem . . .Deadboy hated those bimbos. Should he tell Buffy? Hmmm, not exactly a lot of incentive for him to actively benefit or concern himself with the King Of The Hair Care Users, but Buffy . . .?

"Hey! Kids! Whatcha' got there?"

"Xander! Isn't it beautiful?" Buffy beamed, holding a section of the skirt out to him.

"Um, Buffy? Let me put it gently . . .Eighteenth century noblewoman? Big turn off for the guy with the hair gel obsession."

Buffy momentarily looked confused; then a mulish, suspicious look crossed her face. Uh-oh, Xander inwardly sighed in exasperation. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut?

But, unexpectedly, Willow came to the rescue.

"He's right, Buffy. Xander and I found him operating _two_ computers at the same time!" The smartest Human hacker in Sunnydale said ecstatically. "We got to talking. Angel loves computers and geek stuff! You, you know, in his original time period, people were really into education and machines and inventions. He didn't like the girls of his period because they were stupid, and vapid, and ignorant."

Buffy jerked her hands back from the dress, her actions similar to someone touching something burning hot! Her eyes darted wildly around the rapidly, diminishing costume choices. "Oh, something smart and hot," she murmured. Hot she could do . . .But hot alien babe? Buffy was just not so sure.

An amused Xander decided to cut his friend a break, even if Buffy's choices on boyfriends fell hard on the left side of creepy-A freakin' corpse, for cryin' out loud! Xander peered at the racks, a little more closely then before. He thought he saw something he had recognized-Ah, ha! It was still there! He pounced on his prized and proudly brought it out to the Slayer.

"What is this?" Buffy asked, eyeing the two-piece costume. A sleeveless, low cut tunic and pants; the tunic was a burgundy color, with gold piping. The pants were the same color, with a broad single black stripe running up on the sides.

Xander grinned. "This is from an obscure cancelled TV show, called 'Andromeda'. They only ran thirteen episodes of it, but it's got a cult following, and Tall and Brooding would know it."

"Okaaay," Buffy took the offered costume and sized it up against her, and frowned. "Xander? What's the name of the character that goes with this costume?"

Xander's grin got even wider. "Andromeda, Buffy, her name is Andromeda. She's a sentient warship, and thats one of her android avatars!"

Willow giggled. "Cool!"

Unnoticed by the three teenagers, Ethan Raynes, lurked just of eyesight, but not hearing. He frowned in disappointment-He had reserved that dress especially for Giles' slayer. But the silly girl was determined to impress that vampire pet of hers, and short of actually attempting mind-control, then he had to accept her choice and hope it would create sufficient chaos!

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NOVEMBER 01, 1997, TWO A. M.:

Buffy was in her bedroom, sitting by her desk, still in her Halloween costume. The tiny blond slayer held a hand mirror to her face. She stared down her open mouth, trying to see if there were wires or chips or motherboards in there. But, nope! Just regular Buffy stuff.

Sighing, Buffy put down the mirror and slumped in her chair. No panic, no panic, Buffy chanted to herself. No need to panic-yet. Buffy thought about the past few hours and the Chaos mage, Ethan Rayne, and she wanted to break his legs-again!

Like everyone else who had bought a cursed costume, she became her costume-Buffy became Glorious Heritage Heavy Cruiser, Shining Path To Truth and Knowledge AI Model GRA 112, Serial number XMC-10284, Andromeda freakin' Ascendant! Oh, yeah, if that mouthful was too thin, try adding 'Rommie' to that list of names!

Being a superior, no nonsense AI, 'Rommie' quickly identified the source of the Chaos magic, _after_ rescuing Cordelia from Jo-Jo the Dog Boy and questioning her. Cordy was still Cordy and not some cat-Although . . .Buffy got started, then discarded that line of thought, 'cause really, it was too cheap and easy. Cordy's Party Town costume remained a costume. Ethan's costumes were the ones turning real. Leaving Cordy behind, in Buffy's house, 'Rommie' marched towards Ethan's with ghostly Willow and Xander, 'Solder Guy', with her.

Spike should have let her pass, and gotten about his business without interfering with the transformed Slayer. Or better yet, stayed at home, with Dru.

But, Spike is an idiot.

Buffy felt infinite sadness that at some point, Spike was going to unknot his limbs and straighten his body out from the pretzel shape 'Rommie' had twisted and tied him into.

Ethan should have known better then to antagonize a warship-Spike was an idiot, but Ethan Rayne was just stupid.

'Rommie' shoved one of Ethan's own socks into his mouth, then proceeded to systematically break his bones-Fingers, toes, wrists, ankles; 'Rommie' moved up Ethan's body, breaking his arms and legs. She twisted both knees, dislocated his shoulders, broke his collarbone and was starting on his ribs when 'Rommie' removed Ethan's gag. Between screams, and piteous whimpers and moans, Ethan told her to smash Janus's bust. Fine, 'Rommie' followed instruction and smashed Janus's bust into shards.

The results were instantaneous-Xander 'Soldier Guy' reverted back to Xander, waving his plastic toy rifle around. Ghostly Willow disappeared, but later showed up solid and well. The rampaging little monsters turned into crying children. Buffy and Xander rounded up as many of the children as they could, but sadly, and with rage directed at Ethan Raynes, they knew a number of those babies were never going to come home again.

No pity or remorse, for what 'Rommie' did to Ethan, Buffy thought savagely. He earned it. Too many people dead, too many injured, and too many maimed.

Buffy sighed and got up from her chair and walked towards the door. Mom had gone out of town for her party and had promised to come home sometime in the morning. Buffy had time to get to Miller's Woods and check out something-Yeah, everyone had reverted back to themselves, but how come she could still feel her ship body up in orbit?

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MILLER'S WOODS:

There, in a tiny glade within Miller's Woods, was the dropship Buffy knew was waiting for her. She stared in numb horror at it for a long while, and then Buffy raised up her head, and glared up at the starlit night sky. "You had to go and get funny ideas, didn't you!" Buffy yelled.

She approached the dropship and it immediately opened for her. Biffy climbed inside and claimed the pilot seat, securing herself in it; behind her, Buffy heard the door closing. Lift off was immediate, the inertia dampeners protecting the ship's occupants from feeling and being affected by the sudden acceleration and turns the dropship made. Buffy's hands never touched the familiar controls-A slight nudge of her will was all the control it needed. Her 'other' self was on the other side of the moon. And when Buffy saw the magnificent vessel, a gasp escaped her. Yeah, Buffy could remembered countless approaches when she had seen the same thing-But they were 'Rommie's' memories, not hers. Seeing the Andromeda for the true first time, overwhelmed Buffy with awe. And took down, a little, that idea and feeling the PTBs had screwed her over again.

Upon arriving inside the ship, Buffy left the dropship, and walked out onto the hanger floor. She examined the odd, but not particularly disorienting, sensation of walking about on two legs, and simultaneously floating around in open space. Buffy traveled to the medical deck-She was determined to find out if she was still fully human, or an android, or whatever!

An hour later in the command deck, Buffy sat in the captain's chair, mulling over the medical exam's result-She was still human. One hundred percent Human, with no extra additives or preservatives. So, why was she a damn ship?!

She had to go back down to Earth. Talk to Giles, talk to the Scoobies. See if anyone had any ideas why Ethan's damn chaos spell had gone wonky on her. Besides, Buffy thought, beginning to brighten, aside from that little 'oopsie' owning her own starship may not be such a bad thing! And skipped down to the hanger deck.

The dropship returned back to the glade. Buffy concerned with the superstrong, sticky tentacles of Sunnydale's demonic population, decided to sent the dropship up to the ship and call one down when she need it.

A few hours later, Giles, Willow, and Xander, stood frozen still, staring at the dropship with open mouths.

Buffy looked at them, nodded in sympathy and said to them, "If you think this is eye popping wait until you see what's up there!"

Giles pulled himself out of the stare long enough to say-"Yes, well, Buffy I think we should be extremely cautious-."

Two high-pitched, delighted squeals interrupted him. Xander and Willow raced to the dropship's open entrance and dove in! "Oh's!" and "Ah's!" floated out the open doorway. Buffy shrugged helplessly at Giles and turned around and sprinted for the dropship door. A moment later, she was inside leaving Giles standing and shaking his head, before following at a slower pace.

Buffy warned them. But Willow was still unprepared-When she first saw the Andromeda Ascendant, Willow heart skipped a beat, then she forgot to breath. She corrected the oversight by panting, and drooling. Willow could feel her heart beating hard and fast against her chest. In the seat, next to her, Xander was a making a funny, sucky, noise-"Hehee-ha! Hehee-ha! Hehee-ha!".

Too soon, they were in the hanger deck. But that was cool, too, Willow judged dreamily, standing on the hanger floor, staring at all the ships parked inside it.

Xander was having spasms-Everywhere he turned he saw . . .Technology. The maintenance android shuffling past them was the final straw. Buffy grabbed him by the collar and dragged his spastic body to the medical deck for a quick check up and a light sedative.

Giles stood, staring like a godsmacked fish. Then he snorted and regained something of his composure-Well, of course . . .This was Buffy after all. He followed his children out the hanger.

With Xander sedated and the rest somewhat under control, Buffy took them up to the command deck.

"What can I say, Buffy?" A distracted Giles ran a hand through his graying hair. "Ethan was playing with serious magics. His Power, in this latest _prank_ of his, was borrowed from the god of Changes and Beginnings. When you smashed the bust, everyone and everything should have returned to their original state."

"But I didn't. Not entirely anyway," said Buffy, rolling her eyes.

"No, no you didn't," Giles agreed. And wondered, briefly, how he was going to get any of them away from their newest toy. He realized that was not going to happen-At least, not for a very long time, if ever! He suddenly wanted to grin. Of course, he felt the same way!

Abruptly, Buffy stiffened and she frowned.

"Buffy? Buffy? What is it?" Willow called out nervously.

"We're getting a call-From Earth!" Buffy cocked her head as if listening for something. Her eyes widened and she said incredulously, "Guys . . .you're so not going to believe this! We're getting hailed-By Andrew Wells! Here listen to this!"

"Um, alien vessel? This is Earth. Um, ah, actually it's just me, Andrew Wells, from Sunnydale, California. That's on Earth! I'll like to say, from my species to yours, ah, hi! And welcome to Earth! Ah, um, just don't going eating anyone, or blowing things up, okay?"

For a brief time, everyone aboard the Andromeda Ascendant was godsmacked into silence.

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Sorry, next chapter, sometime in the future.

Okay, goodbye and thanks for giving me your time and reading this story!


	2. Chapter 2

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Disclaimer: No, **I don't own anything here!** Joss Whedon and his group own _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_, and all related materials and characters. The late Gene Roddenberry and Robert Hewitt Wolfe created _Andromeda_. Produced by Majel Roddenberry. Directed by David Winning.

_'Stargate Andromeda'_ by **mystic**, here on TtH, inspired this story.

Poor Andrew! He's the guy who gets the majority of the bruises in this chapter! So, if you're a fan of his-Sorry.

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Halloween and Buffy gets a new toy.

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Buffy's Shining Path

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Command Deck:

"Okaaay," Buffy said, eyes narrowing. "First question here is: How did Andrew Wells know we're up here? And let's not forget the other important thing, inquisitive minds have to know: How did he manage to communicate with us?"

"Um . . .?" Willow valiantly tried several ideas. "Oh! Aah . . .um . . .hmm!"

"Ah, what Wills is trying to say," Xander paused, then grinned. Oh, yeah, he was feeling good! _Mild_ sedative? . . .Riiight. "What she's saying is we've got nothing! Absolutely nothing! A great, big, fat nothing!"

Giles took off his glasses and began polishing them with the handkerchief he took out of his jacket's pocket. "Perhaps, if you talk to this . . .Andrew . . .and ask him these questions, maybe, we'll get answers." He advised.

"Good idea, Giles!" Buffy nodded. She decided to put the call on "speaker" mode. "Hello! Are you still there, Mr. Wells? Hello?"

"Aaahhh! Yes! Yes! I'm still here! Um, Greetings and salutations! May you live long and prosper! Take me to your leader! No! Wait-wait! Don't take me, please! I don't want any alien eggs in me! Or to be probed! Please don't probe me! Or eat me! I'm stringy and gamy!" Rapid, panic panting alarmed the listeners. Was Andrew hyperventilating? Was he going to faint on them?

"Mr. Wells?" Buffy interjected quickly, rolling her eyes up in exasperation. "Thank you for that lovely welcome. But no, we're not going to lay eggs in you. Or probe you. Or, eat you. We just want to talk, okay?"

A slight snuffle, then a hesitant, slightly whiny, "Okay . . ."

"Good," Buffy said. "I have to confess I'm impressed with your cell phone's range, Mr. Wells."

"Oh-what? Oh, no, no I'm not using a 'phone! I'm calling you using this communication device I got on Halloween! Turned into my costume, you see, and-"

"Mr. Wells?" Buffy hastily interrupted. Excitement surged in her. "Mr. Wells? What did you go as last night? What was your costume?"

"I-I went as Seamus Zelazny Harper." A confused sounding Andrew confessed. "From the TV show '_Andromeda_'. Why do you ask?"

Xander's eyes widened and his mouth formed a wide "O". Willow listened-The name meant nothing to her. She was not a big fan of short-lived sci-fi TV shows. Giles looked on, noncommittal, his hands occupied with his glasses, as usual.

Buffy barely contained her excitement and bounced on her toes. "Mr. Wells? Would you like to meet?"

"Oh, I-I-Say again, please?"

"Would you like to meet somewhere? Somewhere public, of course. Let's say . . .the mall? The food court, in an hour?"

A loud, unexpected squeal caused everyone to wince. "Um, oh, um . . .Yes! Yes! We can meet! We can meet! That's good. We can talk; Supreme Commander to Earthling!" He squealed again, causing everyone on the bridge to wince, again. "Wait until Jonathan finds out! He's going to be so jealous!"

"Uh, Jonathan?" Buffy frowned.

"Oh, yeah . . .My best friend, Jonathan Levinson!"

"Hmmm, for the moment, would you mind keeping this a secret?"

"Don't see why . . .but alright!"

"Goodbye, Mr. Wells, I'll see you in an hour."

"Live long and prosper! Oh! Oh! Yes! Yes!"

Buffy cut communications. For a moment, they remained silent. Xander spoke first: "Alright, didn't he sound like he-"

"Mister! Don't finish that thought!" Willow warned. "Besides, you were having a similar . . .moment. That's why Buffy had to make you happy!" Her eyes widened dramatically. "Oh . . .ah . . .that came out . . .wrong."

Xander grinned and nodded happily in agreement. "Yeah . . ."

"Like, _ew_!" Buffy shuddered, trying to get that icky idea out of her head.

Giles briefly (Ripper was snorting in amusement, somewhere in the back of his mind) closed his eyes; he had to get his children to focus! "W-w-w-can you tell me why this Seamus Zelazny Harper is so important that you have to meet with-with Andrew Wells?"

Xander laughed. "Sure-!"

"He's Andromeda's engineer," Buffy quickly said, eyeing Xander. "Andrew Wells went as Seamus Harper, and like me, something seemed to have stuck."

Giles gazed thoughtfully at his glasses. The lenses were clear and clean, but his handkerchief went back to work, rubbing the glass lenses in a soothing motion. Given the number of times he performed the task, Giles sardonically wondered if he was in fact, secretly attempting to wear holes in the glass: Giles doubted a smudge would have the time to establish itself on the surface of his glasses. The same fate for any drifting speck, that just happened to land on one of his lenses.

"It does seem like a prudent precaution to contact Mr. Wells, and establish both his intentions and sound him out for possible recruitment." Giles said, carefully.

Xander yelped. "You're kidding me, right G-man?"

Buffy smirked. "We-_I_ need an engineer, Xander. And no one comes with better qualifications and references then Seamus Harper!"

Xander peered suspiciously at Buffy. "How did you get that, Buffy? I didn't think you knew anything about the show."

Buffy snorted. "Uh, Xander? Look around you . . .I got into planetary communications a while ago. TV reruns? Real easy to get!"

"Okaay," Xander looked pained, and impressed at the same time. TV? How many channels? Porn, too? "But Buffy . . .You've got no idea what you're getting into with Andrew."

"Why? What's wrong with him?" Buffy's eyes narrowed. "He's not some kind of pervert, is he?"

"Worse." Xander said, grimly.

Willow hastily intervened. "He's a geek. A real geek, _geek_." She emphasized. "You heard him. That wasn't just a one-time-panic-talking-to-real-alien-thing! That's Andrew Wells all the time! He could drive you crazy real easy, Buffy." Willow warned.

Xander nodded in silent agreement.

"Um, hm, okay, but I still need an engineer." Buffy said, stubbornly.

Willow sighed and shook her head in sad Willow fashion. Xander shrugged and warned Buffy: "Just remember-When you chuck him out an airlock: We told you so!" Willow nodded in agreement.

"Fine!" Buffy pivoted on her heel and took a few steps. "I'm going planet side now. Giles, I'll like you to come down too-Ethan Rayne is in the hospital, but he ought to be conscious around this time. If you can talk to him, maybe he'll give up a few answers. Xander and Wills, why don't you look around a bit, and pick out quarters for yourselves?"

"You're leaving us alone? _By ourselves?_ Onboard this big spaceship?" Squeaked Willow.

"Of course not! I'll still be here!"

With the exception of Buffy, they all jumped at the unexpected, but familiar voice. A holographic Buffy smirked at them. They stared, then they turned to the real Buffy.

She shrugged. "Guys . . .Meet AI Buffy."

"Oh, dear lord."

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Sunnydale Hospital:

"Ripper! So happy to see you!"

Giles stood a few steps inside the private hospital room his former friend, Ethan, had been settled into. A satisfied smirk set itself on his face as he carefully noted the white gauze and plaster evidence of the formidable beating the 'Rommie' avatar had given the deserving Chaos mage.

"Perhaps you are." Giles grinned. "Being bound in traction, your movement and presence restricted to this room, with only the staff as infrequent company . . .I can see why a social butterfly like yourself would be pleased with a visitor-Almost any visitor."

He walked the rest of the way into the room. Snagging a stray chair along the way, Giles set the chair next to Ethan's bed. He sat down, with his right leg cross his knee, in a posture of confidence. A wintry smile curled on his lips, and an even colder glacial stare behind his glasses. "Well, Ethan, your current circumstances seemed to have been thoroughly and well earned."

Outrage crossed the immobilized Chaos mage's face. "I beg to differ with that judgement, Giles! All I was engaged in was a small act of personal worship, as is guaranteed by the American Constitution, when your deranged, fundamentalist slayer broke into my shop, and then proceeded to beat and torture me half to death!"

"Yes, that assault must have been terribly traumatic and painful for you, Ethan." Giles said, in mock sympathy. "Traumatic enough for you to ignore the dozens of children that went missing last night. Or the overflowing number of casualties this hospital is currently treating. All of them resulting from last night's event."

"Ah, yes . . .The gang problem they have in this town. A terrible shame," said Ethan, in a mocking, regretful tone. "A lovely location . . .But if I had known about the gang problem-Well, perhaps, another town would have been a better place for my shop."

Giles sighed softly and removed his glasses. In an uncharacteristic move, Giles reached into the pocket of his tweed jacket, and removed a hard-shell eyeglass case. He folded his glasses and put them into the case. He closed the case with a startling snap and slipped it back into his pocket.

Without the obstruction of his glasses, Giles' eyes took on a sharper, colder menace. In his body cast, Ethan squirmed, but outwardly, maintained his pleasant façade. Ethan studiously ignored the beeping heart monitor and its increased activity.

"We will now discuss your actions of last night, Ethan," Giles said, with deceptive Ripper mildness. "Specifically, that Chaos spell you used, and its ongoing repercussions."

"Spell? Repercussions?" Ethan questioned innocently. He gasped as Giles removed a poking finger from a bruised and pain-sensitive spot on his sadly abused body. "Giles, Giles, it was just a prank!" Ethan admitted, changing tactics. "You remember those, don't you? Remember when you and I-Arrrgh!" The heart monitor went momentarily wild!

Giles calmly sat down again, and waited until the monitor's beeping resumed a normal rhythm. He calmly watched Ethan gasping recovery, and ordered softly, "Tell me about that spell, Ethan. Tell me everything and leave nothing out."

And then, Ripper smiled.

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Mall Food Court:

Buffy spotted Andrew Wells almost immediately. The blond teenager, sitting by himself, was surrounded by a no-man's-land of empty seats and tables-That would have been bizarre, considering the food court was otherwise packed. But Andrew Wells was staring at everyone with _such_ an intense, creepy look that people stayed away. Buffy snickered, the town's human population may be dense about it's supernatural dangers, but they had no problem with identifying their _Human_ weirdoes and geeks and keeping a respectable distance between them. Buffy rolled her eyes up and walked towards Andrew Wells.

Advancing into the food court, dodging running children and larger bodies in motion, while weaving through the occupied tables, Buffy mused over the vast quantity of information, floating around out there, on a single sixteen year-old boy. Including several unflattering pictures of him. Ew, Andrew posing in that Speedo nearly made her convulse-Buffy certainly had to take a minute or two to keep the bile down.

"Hey, Andrew!" Buffy called out, after getting within a few feet of him.

"Oh, uh, huh," Andrew startled, accidentally knocking over a napkin dispenser with his arm. His eyes darted around in confusion as he bent down, while still seated, picked up the fallen dispenser and absently put it back on the table, and then he finally focused on Buffy. "I can't leave here! I'm waiting for somebody important!" He blurted out.

"Pardon?"

Andrew shifted and fidgeted nervously in his chair. "You want me to leave the food court, right?" He said nervously. But then Andrew repeated, with more resolve, "I can't leave, now! I'm waiting for someone!"

It was either Buffy's brilliant smile, or what she said, that froze Andrew-"Relax, Andrew. I'm the one you're meeting. Supreme Commander to Earthling. Remember?"

Buffy took Andrew's fish-mouth imitation as a _yes_. She took a seat opposite of him, and opened her mouth to talk. Buffy shut it close when she noticed Andrew was staring blankly. Annoyed, Buffy snapped her fingers in front of his face a few times, wondering if she was going to have to go through the same thing with Andrew as she did with Xander. Oh, yeah, Buffy thought, resigned, as Andrew finally responded with a gasp and a small shake of his head.

"You're-you're the Supreme Commander?" Andrew squealed.

"Actually, that's not my title," Buffy corrected him. "But I'm the person you talked to earlier-You said you went as Seamus Harper, Andromeda's engineer?"

Andrew nodded vigorously. "Yeah . . .Then a freaky thing happened-."

"You got turned into your costume?" Buffy supplied. "That happened to a whole lot of people. Afterwards, when you and everyone went back to normal, you still had a head filled with Harper's memories and a few other souvenirs? Got it right?"

"Yeah . . ." Andrew eyes widened, and he gasped. "You went as Andromeda! Didn't you?"

It was Buffy's turn to nod. "'Rommie' actually."

"Wait until Warren hears about this!" Andrew squealed excitedly. "He dressed up as Dylan Hunt! He was going to buy the 'Rommie' costume and dress up a mannequin with it, but he couldn't find one-I guess you bought it. You're way better then a mannequin, and prettier!" He admitted. "Oh! Does this mean Warren gets to order you around? He is _Captain_ Dylan Hunt, you know. And, you're you know, 'Rommie'! AKA Andromeda!"

At that point, in comparison to Buffy's own, Ripper's smile and eyes would have been generating tropical heat. Andrew, in spite of appearance, did have a finely tuned sense of self-preservation and survival-He made it to age sixteen, while living on a Hellmouth after all! Seeing Buffy's cold, cold smile, Andrew cringe in his seat, wondering what he had done, or said wrong?

"Mr. Wells," Buffy said, formally; in a tone of voice that made Andrew's testicles contract up into his groin. They knew that tone-they associated it with painful, knee or foot contact. At that moment, they wanted nothing more in the World, then to run away and hide. Instead, they settled for trying to bury themselves inside his body. "Mr. Wells, let's get this out of the way: I'm not 'Rommie'. I'm not Andromeda. I'm not even a robot. So, whatever little ideas you, or friend your Warren, may have about having your very own pet girl robot, I suggest you discard them in the interest of breathing and intact manhood!"

Andrew nervously crossed his legs and dropped his hands protectively on his lap. In small, tiny voice, Andrew said, "I-I'm sorry?"

Buffy nodded slowly. "That's a start-A very good start." Buffy smiled. "Don't worry; things aren't so bad . . .I think you're gonna like what I'm offering."

"Huh?" Was all a confused Andrew could say.

****

Vampires Warehouse Lair:

"Oh, my poor Spiky," crooned Drusilla, sadly. "Miss Edith told you not to go out. The bad, bad warship was out there . . .Now, look at my poor Spiky."

"Ow! Could you be a bit more careful there, Dru?" Spike complained, and cursed. His buttocks were still sitting on top of his head; he was still vaguely spherical shaped, but he was looking better then he had a few hours before. Drusilla hummed softly and continued to unknot her lover and Childe, ignoring the yelps and curses. "Careful, Love! Careful! We need that for our future happiness!" The organ Dru was unknotting had only one knot in it-But Spike was particularly fond of it. And while, the length it had stretched, while in the slim hands of a female, would have been a source of pride on any other occasion, having it broken and a knot tied into it was not! Worse! It was _one_ knot! One bloody knot! Spike was certain four, maybe five could have been fitted on there easy!

"Miss Edith is unhappy, Spiky." Drusilla breathed.

"So bloody am I!" Spike roared. In his mind, Spike plotted his vengeance. Bloody Slayer! Who the hell does she think she is?! The other two slayers he had killed, had been cooperative and died in a timely fashion-So, what the bloody hell was wrong with this one?! Did she think she was better then the other slayers? Spike ranted in his mind. The video recordings he had taken . . .Somewhere in those videotapes was the key to taking Miss Buffy Bloody Summers down. Vigorously study those tapes, get to know the Slayer's moves, her weakness . . .And then-"Ow! Dru!"

Drusilla quietly hummed and listened to the stars.

****

Command Deck:

They assembled on the command deck. They listened to the pitter-patter of happy, running feet and to the happier sounds of, "Heh! Heh! Heh!", and squeals of delight. Then they heard the unmistakable squeak of alarm, followed by a heavy "Thud!". The welcomed sound of relief.

As one, their eyes turned on Buffy. She shrugged, "I had one of my androids stun him. A nice sedative ought to calm him down."

Xander grinned. "Oh, good. Buffy gonna make Andrew happy too!"

Willow blushed.

"Children . . .Can we, please, get back on topic?" Giles said, impatiently. "My talk with Ethan, produced some answers to our unusual situation. He is quite certain the affected person's innate magical energies have something to do with-with any residual effects of the spell."

Buffy considered the news Giles bought with him. From her own experiences with the Chaos mage, she wondered how much pain Giles had to bring down on the man before he gave up the scant information Giles ended up with. Sadly, Buffy considered the joys fate (or some truly sadistic PTB) poured down on her head: first the Slayer, then Sunnyhell, and finally, a bizarre Slayer/warship hybrid.

Idly, Buffy noted a passing android silently dragging an unconscious Andrew behind it.

"I get it," Buffy said. "The higher the personal mojo, the bigger and better the souvenir left behind-What I don't get, and not that I'm complaining Giles; but why didn't I stay an android?"

Giles looked at his slayer, and truthfully replied: "I don't know, Buffy."

"It's a good thing you didn't, though!" Willow reminded them. "Remember, Warren? Andrew's friend? The one who went as Captain Dylan Hunt? I bet he still has Andromeda's codes rattling inside his head. If Buffy had remained an android, he could have ordered her to do anything!"

Buffy gained a momentary far off look on her face and winced. "Ugh, Willow's right . . .Warren's a sleaze-The records and stuff I'd been able to dig up on him paint an ugly picture. At a guess, the guy likely retained some of Dylan Hunt's technical knowledge, but I doubt he would have kept any of Hunt's ethical or moral characteristic." Buffy grimaced in disgust and anger. "Yeah, Warren would have used me, his pretty little toy, without a shred of hesitation or thought!"

Xander thought it was just Warren's good luck that he would _never_ have an opportunity to try something like that against Buffy. He sneaked a peek at Giles and noticed a tension emanating from the older man. Yep, Warren was one luck bastard.

His eyes narrowed; thinking of lucky bastards . . .What was Captain Hairgel doing now? Brooding about something, obviously, Xander inwardly shrugged. Maybe hair gel . . .? And dismissed Angel from his thoughts.

****

Angel's Apartment:

Angel stood in front of the bathroom sink. Damp from a shower, and naked except for a towel around his hips. He wiped the steam clouded mirror surface with a towel and considered the over two dozen hair products living on the shelves, on the side of the mirror and sink.

He picked up one jar of hair gel and scowled viciously at it. Damn greedy corporations! Same price, smaller size! And Angel's brooding thoughts swirled off to the dark places where corporations and shrinking products dwell.

****

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Okay, the last portion was admittedly weak. And I apologize for it. As for Andrew . . .Sorry about him, too.

Thanks for reading, and goodby!


End file.
